I dreamt of paradise and all I brought back was the sand.

L’esprit de l’escalier – the feeling you get when you leave a conversation and think of all the things you should have said.

0565a2bcIza, I miss your smile. I miss your encouraging words. I miss our late-night conversations. I miss being your friend. We had told each other we would travel to California to find ourselves. It may have been a cliché, but it was our cliché. I appreciate all the times you stood by me, believed in my art, and gave me a listening ear. Not many people in my life deserved the title real friend but you were a real friend to me. Not many people get me, but you did. You get me. Let’s go to Home Depot and sit on the chairs to people watch! Yes, what we have said to each other made no sense to outsiders. I still remember we would still chat even during the holidays.  I gave you a book from Ali’s daughter ’cause her strength reminded me of you. We understood each other; we felt like we were trapped behind bars and had family that tried so hard to crush our dreams. I’ll always have our memories kept in my pocket.I was walking on the streets of Atlanta and wanted to bump into you somehow. I would love to see you in Puerto Rico one day. If you’re not there when I’m there, I hope you’re happy —- wherever you are.

“The crooks thought they had the wrong girl ’cause she was smiling like a fool but ———– can you blame her? This is her big break. Philosophies in her pockets. She held her childhood lullabies and had her own lines to live by. We take chances to discover ourselves. Crashing police cars. Building underground hideouts. We may be falling but ———— to us, we’re flying. The angels breathe down our backs. “We’re reviving ourselves.”I write these words for you, Iza. I will never stop being your friend.

102_0664_edited-1102_0739_edited-1102_0620_edited-1102_0609_edited-1102_0662_edited-1Advice from a friend to a friend: eat these with water. It may sound weird to you, but it makes all the difference. If you don’t, it will be hard as a rock. No good.102_0607_edited-1102_0847_edited-1102_0721_edited-1102_0837_edited-1102_0821_edited-1102_0638-1I walked the old streets of San Juan in hope I would bump into an old friend. I wore my salsa dress and old shoes; I take random snapshots as if they’re mini therapy sessions. I bathe in the sun and press “rewind” with my mind; I think about the memories I have in these sort of places. Hey Izzy Pop, how’s life? I’m sorry. I’m forgetting everything. I’m trying to remember what I have promised you. I only remember bits and pieces of our story. Do you still drive that beat up car? I keep failing my driver’s license. I am now a strong believer in a good public transportation system. I have lived on a beautiful island called Taiwan and now I’m temporarily staying in Shanghai. I wish I can say I am doing something with my life. I’m just wasting away. I’m not getting any younger, you know. I just turned 30 years old. I’m also glad we didn’t escape to California; Arnold did a terrible job. Besides, I don’t think I’ll be able to find myself in the City of Angels. I still bury my feet in the sand like a child but I now worry about moles and skin cancer. This is life. C’est La Vie!

This post is kind of an extension from I carry my memories in my heart like a suitcase.

Haiku: stars as our compass.

Stars as our compass,
we hop on the midnight train.
We head home anew.

What I like about Shanghai. part one.

IMG_20130331_032550IMG_20130319_092802IMG_20130330_070942IMG_20130330_054737 (1) I jump, you jump.
We’re pirates of a sunken ship.
We explore the world
from underneath our sheets;
our flashlight guide us
to a nearby island.
We fall into our storyline
of our book
into a universe
where we can be ourselves
and it would be enough.IMG_20130330_054144IMG_20130330_055058 IMG_20130331_09581601. The city is vibrant.IMG_20130501_042250IMG_20130504_06540602. Lillian Bakery, where I get my  Portuguese egg tarts in Shanghai.
IMG_20130318_052810CAM02806IMG_20130330_060117IMG_20130330_060316mepomepo1CAM02785heap03. The inferstructure is amazing.
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Speaking of culture shock: while there are beautiful temples in Shanghai, a few of them I’ve been to were merely an empty shell. You actually have to pay to get into this one, for an example. I didn’t feel like I was in a temple but rather, at a gift shop. In the corner of my eye, I saw a foreigner getting a bogus massage. Unlike the temples in Taiwan, you wont see monks chanting (female monks, even). The place I went wasn’t alive; there was no soul. Beautiful on the outside; hollow on the inside. Some of the buildings had to be restored after they were destroyed due to the culture revolution. One of Dawen’s co-worker who is a local Shanghainese had her own culture shock when she arrived on Taiwan’s soil; she couldn’t believe how vibrant and alive the temples are over there. We both have opposite culture shocks and that’s okay. Let it be.yetSweden’s first whiskey; Dawen and I tried it for the first time at a local bar. The taste of it reminds me of Jack Daniels. I humbly prefer my hard liquor to be smooth like Hennessey. Shocking and impressive news: Taiwan’s scotch whiskey beat Scotland and Ireland! It became number one in the world from a blind test. Kalavan.yet1I rather like this local bar; the owner is quite nice and honest. Not only that, he takes in stray cats. Due to this, I give him my business.

I will leave you on a hilarious note: Have you heard? Traditional Chinese Characters are not ‘real’ Chinese. My documents were typed in Traditional by a local Shanghainese and were sent out only to be rejected. Their reason? “Traditional Chinese characters are not real Chinese.” I can’t even make this up. The locals and I know the reason behind it but we still find it hilarious. I don’t think I need to explain why.
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